Locke'd Up Abroad

Welcome to this week’s State blog round-up!  I tried to be a comprehensive as I could, so this edition is somewhat long.  Get a coffee or something before reading.  If I overlooked you, leave a note in the comments and maybe you’ll be included next week.  If you’d like to give writing one of these a shot, sign up here.

Enjoy!

PHOTOS

This week photos come first.

From A Daring Adventure, the Spirit of St. Louis and an orchid taken while visiting the Air and Space Museum and the Botanical Garden in DC. Kolbi has an eye for flowers!

Amy Gottlieb–or should I say Dr. Gottlieb–is working for USAID in Vietnam and taking some great shots. These are from May, but it’s my blog round-up so I get to do what I want! Amy, post more!

Beau Geste, Mon Ami took a vacation this week and grabbed this shot of a lava bomb.

Life on the Mekong and Other Rivers , in Zambia, maybe? I will always post rhino photographs.

The same is true for elephants and beaches, this week from Sri Lanka by Rock Star in Dhaka.

Scrivners went to the Eastern market in DC.

Shenyanigans saw a street performance in Shenyang, China (awesome blog name, btw).

Short Term Memory rounds the photo section out with Machu Picchu and a baby llama. I’m a sucker for animals!

NEW HIRES

Congratulations to two new Assistant CLOs: Wife-Mommy-Woman in San Jose, Costa Rica and The Mas Alla in Caracas, Venezuela.

ON SWINGING FOR THE FENCES

Sarah Novak from Minnesota Gal’s Blog has an exciting announcement.  After doing pro bono coaching for Carewell Cancer Resource and Wellness Center, Sarah’s decided to become a full-time coach for cancer patients.

In my coaching work, I intend to empower Cancer patients to use their illness as a catalyst to step into their higher purpose and help them commit to making their remaining days on earth their most inspired and impactful ones yet.

Keep an eye on her blog for more details.

DiploJournal up in Ottawa, Canada takes the SFTF prize this week, though.  He had a huge project dropped in his lap for Doors Open Ottawa, a weekend event where public and private buildings open for public tours.  A month before the event he gets an email.  Then:

It wasn’t until the next day that I realized what had just fallen on my head.  First, there were over a dozen moving parts to the project.  Second, the Embassy had never participated in such a program and we haven’t actually confirmed that any United States Embassy has opened its doors for public tours.  Third, the project was a very high priority for both the DCM and the Ambassador.  Oh, and we needed to produce an introductory video that would kick-off the tours.  In a month.

So he rolls up his sleeves and absolutely kills it.

Most importantly, just about everyone left impressed by the Embassy and the openness of the staff.  I put together a quick online survey and sent it to everyone who attended the event to gauge their candid impressions and to get some ideas on what we could have done better.  The survey received a huge response within hours.  Over 90% found the tour to be very good or excellent.  98% would recommend it to friends or family if we do it again next year.

No time to rest, though; they have a G8 and POTUS visit in two weeks.

The DipNotes in Singapore gives DiploJournal a run for his money, however.

The Embassy is hosting the Secretary of Defense (Gates) this weekend, and participating in the Shangri-La Dialogue [Conference], a few Congressional Delegates, we just got our new Ambassador two weeks ago, my office is hosting an OSAC meeting next week, plus my office (Regional Security) is hosting a large reception at the Ambassador’s residence in two weeks. Add to this the preparations for the 4th of July Event, always a big thing at U.S. Embassies around the world. Then I am working towards my Dive Master SCUBA certification at a beautiful resort in Malaysia – about 4 hours from home!

SassAndSweet, in Vancouver, describes her through process in a series of posts considering bidding on Afghanistan, Iraq, and Pakistan.  She decided to bid Pakistan.  Highly recommended reading.

Life After Jerusalem has been blogging about LGBT State employees for 2010 LGBT Pride Month.  Take a look!

ON VACATION

European vacations are all the rage this week.

Beau Geste, Mon Ami is traveling through Italy (and took that volcano photo, above).  He’s also transitioning from the Econ section to Consular.

For the next year, I’ll be a Vice Consul, a title that always makes me think of a W. Somerset Maugham novel set in Southeast Asia with a grey-haired slightly unkempt man sitting on a shady veranda with a slow turning fan, wearing a white linen suit and sipping on a gin shandy while hoping to be recalled to the Home Office. Of course, that would have been a British Vice Consul but you get the idea.

Peripatetic, who’s based in Rome, is visiting Austria.  Want to see what Innsbruck looks like?

But, alas, most people are still…

AT POST

It’s pollen season–sorry, pukh season–for Where to Next? (Now with Baby Baggage!) in Moscow, Russia.  Apparently it’s the consequence of not having a good horticulturalist on hand:

The problem is that, even in his infinite wisdom, Stalin planted exclusively female poplars. This means that there are no males to pollinate the female trees’ seeds. Not knowing what else to do with their seeds, the female poplars release them into the air, raining allergenic white fluff down on the hapless population each year.

Our Serbian Story in Belgrade shares a benefit of being at Post: cheap haircuts.

When it comes to my cuts and highlighting, though, the cost here is less than half of the exorbitant rates that salons charge for such things back home, so I’ve enjoyed not feeling like I’ve just been gauged when leaving the hair salon.

Pro tip from my own experience: look up haircut vocabulary words before you get your first foreign haircut.

I’ll give you another pro tip for free: GSO knows how to replace your lightbulbs.  If you ask nicely and give them money, they’ll buy replacement bulbs for you–and maybe even install them for you.  Like Our Yuppie Life in the Philippines, I sat in the dark for a good month before I figured this out:

We’ve lived in our home long enough now that the lights are starting to burn out. Like most household maintenance things, we just let it go for awhile before fixing it. The long florescent bulb above the sink vanity in the master bathroom has been dead for months and months now (probably 6) and I kind of prefer it that way. Next the bulb above the shower/tub went and then the one above the toilet. One light in our bathroom remained on the furthest side of the room. The last few weeks I’ve been taking a shower in the dark. Justin dragged our bedroom floor lamp next to the shower to illuminate things a bit more and it was nice to have that soft warm light to brush our teeth to. It finally took the drain in the tub backing up to get the light bulbs replaced.

Yesterday the maintenance man came to unplug the tub and when I explained to him that he’d have to work mostly in the dark because the lights were burnt out he then asked me if I would like to have the electrician come and replace the lights. “Huh? Well, sure I guess, thanks.” Was my response. And so much to my conflicted happiness and regret, the lights are back. I took a shower in the equivalent of a wet “interrogation room” (to steal my husbands words) this morning.

I am looking forward to residing under warmer lighting when we visit the States in a few weeks.

There are some problems, however, that you just can’t fix.  Simmons Says in Monterrey is conflicted about driving in Mexico.

You would think I’d be use to it by now, but I’m not.  In the beginning, it was fun (once I became comfortable with it).  Sliding in and out of lanes, not caring about what was going on behind me only those in front and next to me.  Speeding CONSTANTLY and no one caring.  Cars making left turns from the far right lane.  It was fun.

But the little things begin to wear on you.  A complaint I recognize:

I’m tired of my tires screaming at me every time I turn the steering wheel just a little bit.  Again, I swear they add more oil to the pavement.

Down here you not only drive like you’re in an action movie–you SOUND like you’re in an action movie.

Speaking of action movies, Diplotrotter has a fun story about driving in Dubai, UAE:

I’ve noticed that whenever I get on the highway to Dubai, some crazy driver will chase me at high speed, waving frantically, and indicate that I pull over. I’m a big city person, I don’t pull over for anyone! On several occasions after experiencing this crazy behavior, I pulled into gas stations to see if there was something unusual about my car, but never noticed anything. Then after one persistent local man, on the verge of an apoplectic seizure, scared me half to death and practically threatened to push me off the road, I figured it out.

My car has daytime running lights!

ON LANGUAGE

Being at Post is great for learning the language.  Code Yellow Mom in Kiev, Ukraine found this out through her son:

So the other day, I needed some refreshment but the babies were crazy and I was not dressed appropriately for going outdoors, so I decided to see if Calvin was game for a bit of adventure. To my surprise, he was totally up for going to the mini market by himself to get me a soda, and some ice cream for his brothers and him.

Then suddenly I got nervous. He’s a smart and capable boy, but I decided he needed some survival skills in case anyone started speaking to him and he didn’t understand what they wanted him to do or whatever. (My boys have been known to get really frustrated about the communication thing, and I suddenly had visions of little American boy imploding when all the lady was trying to do was tell him his total.)

I was halfway through my advice to just start speaking English back to whatever they say so that they know you can’t understand, to smile and hand them the money, and if that fails, just put the stuff down and come home without it. He looked at me with a look only Calvin can give and said, “Mom. I’ll just say ‘Я не понимаю русский.’* It’s not a problem.

But if you’re not that fearless, The Consuls’ Files has some good advice for you:

Rehearse exchanges in your mind.  Review conversations that fumbled, figure out the flaws, and realize that you COULD have said what you meant to say, if you had tried it THIS way.  Walk through the streets assembling little speeches about what you see (“There is a dog over there.  He is not barking.  His collar is blue and his leash is red”)  Loosen up.  Untie the tongue.  Talk with the FSNs in their language, despite their fluency in yours.  After all, what’s the worst that can happen?  You’ve been laughed at before and survived.  And it will never be a mean laugh, but an understanding laugh, with appreciation that at least you tried.

So say something and watch the response – confusion, or an appropriate answer?  Be willing to try a different way, until the eyes light up with comprehension.  There’s no feeling like it.  And yes, you can say that.

If all else fails, use A Daring Adventure’s ShamWow method:

We’ve now met with our Chinese instructor twice (LOVE HER LOVE HER LOVE HER), and our ears are starting to be able to pick out the different tones in the Chinese word for “panda,” which is xiongmao. It’s not *exactly* pronounced like ShamWow… it’s pretty close, mind you… but it’s more like:She-ohng-mohw-uh

(Or something like that.)

I imagine the ShamWow guy trying to dry off a wet panda and boom,  I’m never forgetting that word.

Perhaps the most important thing to keep in mind during language training is that the language testing is pretty subjective (shhhhh am I not supposed to say that?  I hope my future language testers aren’t reading).  So I say keep your head up to dp’s Blog.  He’s an EFM going to the Dominican Republic who evaluated at 2+/3 in April, went on self-study, and then tested this week at 2/2.

If you’re heading to Post with language skills at 2/2 or above, you’re in good shape to not sound like an idiot (well…at least not sound like an idiot because of mistranslation.  The rest is up to you.)

ON AMERICA

Luckily for us weary diplo-expats, America is always right around the corner.  Wheels up, baby!

Nick and Liz Go Global are on home leave from Kabul, Afghanistan and taking full advantage of their short repatriation, including

watching Nick devour $42 worth of sushi by himself

and

seeing Iron Man 2 in a real movie theater. The movie wasn’t that great, but my new philosophy about most things is “it’s better than Kabul.”

But some things American are confusing upon return.  Asks Where in the world am I?, on pregnancy medivac from Bujumbura, Burundi:

Is it important for me to know who people like Snooki and the Kardishians are? They seem to be everywhere yet I can’t figure what they do exactly.

No one can.

Perhaps the best part about home leave is the anticipation.  Carolyn from Andersons in Benin can’t wait for some American staples:

Starbucks, sushi, iced drinks, and organized traffic.

But being at Post isn’t that bad either.

fresh fruit, babies on backs, saving money, hanging out at the pool.

In fact, Lees on the Go–USAID in Kenya, on home leave–seems to have the home leave thing figured out.

So in my repatriation process (of which, I am a definite fan) I’ve found that America has a lot going for it that is as soothing to me as slipping into a nice warm jacuzzi. There are also a lot of things that just aren’t all that worth missing. I think that’s the point. The US gov’t pays a lot of money to send all of it’s workers and their families back to their homes once per year. It’s required. I think the point is not just to re-stimulate the US economy (we all do our fair share) but also to realign our thinking and prepare us for another year of living what can be a harsh life. (Don’t tell Uncle Sam, but it’s really not as hard as he thinks it is). I think that the new shoes I bought today will definitely help with the next year in Nairobi.

The Dinoia Family is roadtripping through the American southwest this week.  By the time you read this, The Perlman Update will be en route back to the US from Chennai.

Welcome home everyone!

ON PACKOUT

But maybe we’re getting ahead of ourselves.  Before one can enjoy the excitement of Post or the relief of home leave, there’s the packout.

Packouts always seem to have a heat-attack-inducing start.  Something edited this way comes, going to Milan, had their pre-packout survey on Monday.  Even though her child’s room is “a cesspool of insanity” that has swallowed, among other things, their apartment key, “I’m oddly calm about it all.”

Perhaps we should raise the stakes.  Take this timeline from Cyberbones:

SAT: “: I have lost the notepad that has all my notes for pack out on it. What still needs to be bought for the consumables shipment? All I can remember is we still need to buy booze, specifically tequila and triple sec for margaritas, what does that say about my state of mind?”

MON: Her child has a stomach virus.

TUES. She discovers that Folgers coffee singles only has 19 servings.  “Right now our suitcases with just enough clothes to get by for the summer are packed away upstairs in a locked room so they don’t accidentally get shipped leaving us with only the clothes on our backs. There is a pile of stuff heading back to storage in another room. We don’t have an air shipment from here to the next post this time because Dakota is flying the nest so everything in his room will be heading back to the states as UAB (unaccompanied air baggage for those of you not fluent in foreign service acronym). If we were to take it to post or send it to storage he would have no access to any of his stuff, so we are sending it to his uncles house where it can sit in his garage until he wants it. Hopefully all the hard work we have put in getting ready will mean that the move goes smoothly and easily. I just can’t shake the feeling we have overlooked something major, but I have no idea what that could be.

WEDS: The movers show up at 7am (!!!!)

THURS: “The movers are here again. They are still making good progress. Yesterday was hard for me. After what seems like an eternity of being busy busy busy trying to get everything ready there really wasn’t much for me to. And yet I couldn’t relax either because my house was full of strangers packing up all our stuff, including the TV. Mostly I wandered in circles and annoyed the packers, except when David sent me to go get some lunch.”

Two takeaways: (1) Don’t forget the booze, and (2) When the movers come, go get lunch because it’s out of your hands now.

David from EF’M, going to Hermosillo, Mexico, has a packout-related question: How can you keep some stuff private when the movers are there, rummaging through your stuff?  My suggestion is to put it in a box, seal it, and then write on it: “Private stuff, but nothing suspicious or anything like gasoline or open liquids or raw venison, just some private stuff.  Be cool, guys.  IMPORTANT this side up.”

David also writes about people romanticizing the FS:

Like all things, the reality of our adventure falls somewhere in the middle. It definitely has characteristics of a “hazardous undertaking.” There is no shortage of recent news articles and television reports proving it. And there is an element of “romanticism” as we set up shop in various countries and get to experience numerous cultures.

Unfortunately, there’s just no romanticizing packout.

TRAVEL PRO-TIP OF THE WEEK

Comes from Mobile Home, going to Manila, and relates to shipping a pet.

KLM and Lufthansa ship animals in cargo holds that have the same climate control standards as the human passenger section, which eliminates the pet’s risk of exposure to extreme heat or cold. Julie and Grace will fly from the US to Amsterdam, where they stop for a six hour layover in KLM’s airport “pet hotel.” They’ll be fed and walked, their crates will be cleaned, and they’ll be checked out by a vet before boarding a nonstop flight to Manila.

Of course, check with the canine FAM to make sure they’re authorized a walk for trips under 16 hours. (Joke! You can’t check the canine FAM because it’s all SBU.)

(Fine fine, there’s no canine FAM.)

POSTING AWESOME LINKS PERK-UP

Time to re-energize for the final stretch of this update with some awesome links.  Two blogs really came through this week.

PsyDip: Psychological Diplomacy posted The Diplomat’s Dictionary by Chas Freeman, readable online at Google Books.  Contains such gems as:

Bureaucrat’s credo: (1) When in charge, ponder.  (2) When in trouble, delegate.  (3) When in doubt, mumble.

and

Flattery: Diplomats must have no delusions of grandeur, but they should know how to induce them in others.

SchutzHappens, in Belgrade, deserves a big bucket of win for this week.  After celebrating National Doughnut Day last Friday, SchutzHappens posted videos of Eurovision winners and OK GO videos.  GO WATCH THEM!

The only addition I have is the Rube Goldberg Machine version of This Too Shall Pass.

ON MEDICAL EXCITEMENT

Back to it! Foreign Service Specialist in Bangkok, Thailand had some medical excitement this week:

The other morning our son fell and hit his head on an edge and had a huge gash in his forehead and blood was everywhere. We quickly got dressed and went to Bumrungrad Hospital ER. English speaking doc and nurses in a modern and clean hospital. One hour later we were hom eagain with a happy little boy.

A couple of days ago we went back to get the stitches taken out and everything was great. The total cost of everything including meds was about $250 without needing insurance! Wonder had we been in some isolated corner of the world what the medical care would have been like?

Perhaps something like this, from Fabling in the Philippines (and before I get angry emails from people at that Post, I know that the Philippines is not in some isolated corner of the world; I just need some narrative coherence.  Your Post is the best.  Do not hit send.)

I heard the words: “possible giardia, appendicitis, worm, eggs, larvae.” I hope it is none of those things because I don’t like the idea of any of them. At the same time if it is I want to get better before I go back to the states because I don’t know if they would even know to look for those types of things in DC. In Manila its like, “What TB, oh no big deal we all have the latent virus, what you don’t” or “Yeah I just pulled a 24 inch worm out of my intestine, it was awesome” or “I just finished my deworming cleanse” in the same tone that you would say I just went to the gym.

ON FOOD EXCITEMENT

Rock Star in Dhaka had some food excitement this week, making mango muffins to use up their mango supply–other experiments have included mango pancakes.

Ren’s Micro Diplomacy, a Public Diplomacy Master’s student from USC interning at the Public Affairs section in Saigon, Vietnam, muses about “culinary diplomacy.”

Observation about what she calls “culinary diplomacy.”  “This has left me wondering about the limits of culinary diplomacy, or attracting people to a culture via local foods.  It’s a great introduction, encouraging people to let their guard down and be open to influence, but it’s not substantial enough to create true understanding.  Just because I love Vietnamese iced coffee does not mean that I’m going to connect with other aspects of the culture, but it might mean that I’m willing to learning more.  So, practitioners should be prepared to follow up with other outreach program/activities to continue the conversation and develop a deeper culture understanding.”

Take note: As long as there’s free food, I will do any program or activity.

ON FLAG DAY

So I guess there was a flag day this week?  First up is By the where, who really did have a big news week: they’re going to Nogales, Mexico and they’re having a baby girl.  Congratulations and welcome to Mission Mexico.

For Devonnaire, going to Frankfurt, the impending move has become a little more real.

I feel overwhelmed by all the details and I am going to a fully developed Western European country. I can only imagine how it must feel to be going to a place like… Luanda, Angola!

Well, ask From the Back of the Beyond, who is going to Luanda, Angola.  (Apparently they speak Portuguese there and they have a baller flag; No, I had never heard of it before today either).  FTBOTB’s instincts were in the right place for Flag Day:

Before leaving the house Monday afternoon, I seriously considered having a glass of wine, even poured one, but then decided against it because I wanted my wits about me entirely. I regretted this puritanical decision almost immediately upon arrival at the FSI as the pre-ceremony anxiety was as palpable as it was infectious. I settled in next to my fellow spouses, pouring over my high-lighted and dog-eared copy of the bid list, reminding myself to breathe.

Don’t make the same mistake for packout, FTBOTB.  Drink the wine.

To round out the announcements: TulipGirl is going to Nairobi; Worldwide Availability is going to Seoul; Lisons & Dansons are going to Egypt; Herding Cats is going to Caracas.

ON BEING ON THE REGISTER

Uncertainty sucks!  I’ll take mine…to go, please!:

I miss being happy. And smiling. And laughing. And feeling like me.

I miss that happier me. I miss feeling secure.

Is it displaced by all this uncertainty? Sadness is in my head.

Trying to be positive.

The hardest part is when all you can do is wait.  Lawyer, Nurse, Diplomat?:

I thought waiting for the Oral Assessment date to roll around was bad. Well, it was bad, but at least it was a “date certain” – I knew when it was coming and what to expect. Waiting for my clearances is proving to be twice as frustrating. I have no control over the process, and I have no idea when it will be over.

If I am Lost, It’s Only for a Little While was within 10 people of being called from the register.  He’s thinking about taking matters into his own hands and going to a Spanish school in Guatemala or Oaxaca, Mexico.  I’m pulling for Oaxaca because I recently vacationed there and it was great–take a look at my photos from the past few months.  If anyone has any language school recommendations, send them IIAL,IOFALW’s way.

But there’s some good news!  Throwing Off the Bowlines got the call for June A-100 and is frantically preparing.

The last few weeks have been a crazy mix of family things and sorting out and finishing work amd trying to sort out onsurance issues and trying to find good tenants and trying to say goodbye to people, and, and, and…it’s been CRAZY. I really wish I hadn’t procrastinated and waited to start doing all of this until after I got The Call. I had the best of intentions, and planned to startpacking/sorting/weeding out months ago, but didn’t. We’ve lived in our house for almost a decade, and let’s just say we have acquired a few things “just in case”…I am a “saver” by nature, and now I’m really regretting it! I’m not sure I am going to get everything done. The movers come in about a week. Time is MELTING!

The best advice for trying to join the Foreign Service comes from V for VonHinken, who got the call for August A-100.

So don’t forget to live your life. Get married. Buy (or sell) the house. Apply for a new job. Start the degree program. Have a baby (sorry mom’s, not me). Move to Morocco or Shanghai or Provence or Santiago or New York or Portland or wherever you want to go. Adopt a pet (alas, also not me). Remember that Plan B is there, but follow Plan A or Plan D or whichever letter you happen to be on, until Plan B turns into Plan NOW (or Plan 60 days from now). Your sanity may thank you.

Congratulations to those who got the call and good luck to all others waiting.

THE BLOG TO WATCH, SENIOR FOREIGN SERVICE EDITION

To those gunning for the top: If you bookmark only one blog from this post–and shame on you if you do, all these blogs are great–it should be World-Wide-Matel.  He’s in DC, serving on promotion panels that recommend FS-01 officers for Senior Foreign Service.

There are things I thought that were wrong about how the system works, but mostly it is just a different perspective.  After the panels are over, we can talk and write about the process in general terms, but not yet.  For now suffice to say that the process really is as fair as we can make it.   I was very impressed by that and will do my best.

Thanks for reading!  Next week’s round-up will be at Cyberbones.  Have a good weekend!